The Official Rules Of Sitting Shotgun.

My aunt recently asked my sister, mom, and I, “If you go on a date, is it really a date, if his little sister comes along and sits in the front seat?”

Well, she asked the right people.

This is real and this is serious. You mess up on the front seat rules and you might lose friends. That’s just life. So, to make sure you don’t lose any friends, I thought I would share the rule book with you.

  1. If you are a younger sibling, no one cares that you called shotgun, the oldest child automatically gets it. When my younger thirteen year brother calls shotgun, we laugh, it’s cute, he sits in the backseat.
  2. The exception rule to number one is if the younger sibling is within two years of age of the older sibling. You can definitely play and call shotgun and maybe have the possibility of receiving it depending whose fanny touches the seat first. Which leads to the next rule…
  3. It MUST be your rear that touches the seat first. Not touching the handle. Not touching the door. Not calling it first. No. You must:
    1. Call Shotgun.
    2. Your tush must touch the seat first.
    3. It doesn’t really matter how you get there. If getting into the front seat means climbing through a window on the opposite of the car while all of the other doors are locked… it counts.
  4. If married, the spouse sits in the front seat. (Only exceptions are your immediate/in-law parents). If I see your son in the front seat, and your wife in the back, I assume you have divorced your wife and plan to marry your son.  Same goes for anyone else who is not an exception.
  5. Your dog cannot call shotgun. You’d think I wouldn’t have to say this (I do, because I’ve seen it happen): Your dog is not a real person. If you give your dog (or anyone’s dog for that matter) shotgun privileges and make the other person sit in the back, I would assume you hate them.
    1. Exception is only if the dog is sitting in the lap of the person who called shotgun.
  6. If you are 11 years old or younger, you may not participate in shotgun. You aren’t even legal to do so. Just don’t ask. Not cool.
  7. You must see the car to call shotgun. You do not have x-ray vision. If you can see the edge of the car (lights bumpers, exhaust pipe, etc.) It counts. Still you must complete the “Get your behind in the seat” rule to complete operation.
  8. Fighting dirty is allowed. If you can’t handle having a punch thrown at you, get out of the game. Like I said this is serious. This is a competition. If you aren’t willing to sacrifice your life, don’t expect to win.
  9. If you are with a friend and the parent is driving, you sit in the backseat. The friend can sit with you in the back if they are kind enough. But, if you get into the front seat with the friend’s parent, don’t expect to be asked back. You probably lost your friend with that decision.
  10. If you are an invalid, shotgun automatically goes to you. Congrats! You broke yourself, until you heal, you get special treatment. Don’t get used to it.
  11. And finally, the question of the day… If you go on a “date” and your sister is sitting in the front seat, it is NOT a date. Spouse rules apply here. Dates sit shotgun. So if you are going on a date, and your little sister is in the front seat… your little sister is the date, not the person in the back seat.

Be careful. These rules only apply to getting INTO the front seat. There is a whole other set of rules for those who win the front seat. You know what they say, with great power, comes great responsibility.

 

Advertisements

2 Replies to “The Official Rules Of Sitting Shotgun.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s