Volume II: So, You Called Shotgun.

Congratulations. You won Shotgun. You’ve achieved passenger status. Now for a real challenge. When your stump hit the seat, you find yourself sitting at the righthand of the driver.

For all purposes and intents of this post, the driver just got renamed.

We will call him/her: Ruler.

You might as well be at the right hand of God. This person holds your fate in their hands from Point A to Point B.

This being said, it is your job to make your Ruler happy. There are plenty of rules that come with this position. Like I’ve said before, great power comes with great responsibility. While, I will only by covering the top 5, this by no means is the only rules.

  1. Sitting Shotgun means you play music. Pay attention to the wording. You do not get to pick music. You get to touch the screen to play the song Ruler has requested. Why? I already told you. The driver holds your life in their hands. Therefore, you keep that person happy. This leads to my point. 5fe5b762d835143b849df930b27850dabe8e8ff0_hq.gif
  2. You are official hunter and gatherer. If this means the driver is hungry and all you can find is a piece of bread under your seat, you pick that thing up, and feed it to the driver. Also, if there are people in the backseat, you will feed them as well. They are secondary to Ruler.
    1. Exception: Driver doesn’t want old bread.
    2. Exception: Someone in the backseat is vomiting, sick, handicap, etc.giphy-3
  3. Revoked phone privileges. You put up a battle to sit shotgun. Essentially, you also fought the battle to be next to the Ruler. Talk to the Ruler. No matter the reason, this person is driving you somewhere out of the kindness of their heart. Respect that and have a conversation.
    1. Exception: Family Emergencies.
    2. Exception: Using a GPS (but this leads to the next point).tenor-7
  4. If asked, you are in charge of navigation. Only in the case of being asked. Each Ruler has their own specifications. Some might need more help than others.
    1. Exception: Some Ruler’s do not know they can’t navigate themselves. Be aware of these people. NEVER take the GPS away. You have only two options.
    2. (If driver is not using a GPS) Look up where you are supposed to be going on your own phone. Don’t let the driver know. Start making suggestions like: “I think we should turn here.”
      1. (If driver is using a GPS) Casually start checking the GPS. Say things like: “Oh cool. Our turn is up here. That is closer than I thought it was.”  1371056321_drifting_uturn
  5. No feet on dash. The Ruler does not like that. Nothing more to be said on this. tenor-6
  6. Do not touch the temperature. Ask if temperatures can be changed, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE touch the temperature. This irritates the Ruler. Some Rulers think they drive better a certain temperature. Some Rulers are OCD.
    1. Exception: You are dating the Ruler. Still, not wise. cgecupfvpxt6uiopllin.gif
  7. Keep Ruler happy. If this means duct taping mouths closed and tying the hands of people in the backseat, you do it. Why? Because the Ruler is in charge of your life and unhappy Rulers means and unhappy cars. cool-it

 

Missed out on Part I?

Fear not, link right here!

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